Update...

I just wanted to do a little update on what's going on... unfortunately a whole lot of nothing!  It has been 4 and a half weeks since Steve interviewed for that marketing job for Idaho Central Credit Union.  He was told it would be a week or two before he would hear back.  After two weeks went by he sent an email to check in and a few days later he got a response that the process was taking them a lot longer than expected.  So we haven't gotten rejected yet, but as the days (and now weeks) have gone by we can't help but lose hope and feel like once again Steve will just be ignored and it will be another no.  This is even more frustrating because this job just felt right and we thought the pieces might actually fall into place for us, not to mention that we have no other job opportunities in the works so we couldn't help but put all of our eggs into this basket.  

A couple weeks ago, we had gotten to Friday afternoon where we had kind of put a mental deadline of hoping for a phone call with a job offer.  We had spent all week (and pretty much everyday since his interview) staring at the clock and Steve's phone just hoping that it would ring.  I am pretty good at keeping it together, putting on a good front and focusing on the kids.  But every once in a while I reach my limit and lose it.  I got so grumpy and really mad.  I was really frustrated with anyone who has ever interviewed someone or been in charge of hiring someone.  How hard is it to communicate?? Seriously a one sentence email would go a long way in all of the waiting we have had to do.  I was seriously grumpy and once I went down that road it was hard to get over.  I was in a bad mood the whole weekend.  In our current circumstance it is so easy to get down and to feel frustrated, scared, or anxious but I really can't let those feelings control me.  It doesn't make  me a good mom to let all of those negative things overwhelm me.  I have to just let go of a lot of it to just focus on my family and try to be a better mom.  

And now this weekend marked one year since Steve lost his job.  Definitely didn't help our moods.  We can't believe it has been one year.  It's definitely been a rough one and unfortunately we haven't started the next chapter for our family yet.  We have also experienced a lot of joy and received a lot of spiritual and temporal blessings throughout all of this.  It's an amazing feeling to be filled with so much gratitude even in the midst of trial.  We have always been a close family but we have grown even closer and even though the circumstances aren't great we get to spend SO much time together and Steve is able to be a major part of the kids' lives while they are young.  Such an amazing blessing that so many families don't get.  We really don't know what is next for us.  It's scary and we feel like we are kind of floating and waiting (and waiting and waiting).  Our saying lately is "fingers crossed and knees bent."  About all we can do now!