Life continues to be kind of crazy for us... here's what's been going on...
(Long post, more for my own sake than for others.)
Months ago Steve's parents had mentioned that a guy in their ward might be a good lead for a job. He's an executive director for a care center there. Steve got the contact info. for the people of that company located in Pocatello and made contact. It was pretty much a dead end with missed and not returned phone calls, so that was it. While we were in Nebraska for Thanksgiving Steve decided to contact the guy in their ward to see what his job is all about and look into it. Steve spent half the day there and it went really well... next thing we know he had an interview with the guy's boss in Omaha just hours before we flew home. Next he headed to California to their corporate headquarters on Dec. 16th for a whole day of really tough interviews. From what we were hearing Steve was a sure thing for their administrator in training program, which meant we would be sent to train at another facility for 6 months and then Steve would be given his own center to be the director of in Nebraska, Iowa, or Wisconsin. Crazy, right?!? The process was going really well and quickly and although moving was a super scary thought, we felt very optomistic and hopeful about it all. We were open to the idea of change and moving if it meant a new career path and being able to take care of our family. We were excited about (finally!) getting paid well, with a good chance of big bonuses and we were already mentally paying off our debts/bills. They had said after the interview that we would be told in about a week and we were ready to make our plans.
January comes along and we still hadn't heard anything and we weren't sure what to think and were starting to get frustrated. The whole month of January and the beginning of February consisted of A LOT of waiting, not hearing anything, and then only hearing from our contact a little bit. All of a sudden this thing that we had felt 95% sure of and had felt really good about now seemed to have a less than 5% chance of happening. We were very confused and frustrated and felt like we had to keep bouncing back and forth between the idea of moving to Nebraska for a job and not getting it at all. They even had Steve do another group phone interview that he felt didn't go well and some of the interviewers were pretty rude to him. On top of that, we started considering moving to Arizona to live with my parents if we didn't get this job. Although being close to family is great, living with them brings with it a whole new set of issues not to mention that moving there because we have no job or money would just feel like defeat. We were mentally starting to pack our house and it was sad. Seriously, it was maybe the most stressful 6 weeks of my life and the uncertainty was killer.
Come to mid February and at this point Steve felt almost abused by this company. They treated him very poorly and the way this all went down made us lose any faith we had in them and made us just not trust them. We don't exactly want to move across the country for a company we don't trust and makes us feel bad. Just when we thought it was a done deal and he had no chance of getting this job we received a verbal job offer (of course nothing official yet, which still made us uneasy). We were shocked. We couldn't believe that this job could actually be happening. We knew we couldn't make a major decision without some pretty definitive divine conformation. There was lots of prayer, going to the temple, and conversations between Steve and I. We were waiting for it to be spelled out for us that this move was the right one of our family. That conformation that we were looking for just wasn't coming and it was frustrating. Every time we would talk about or even think about this new opportunity we were instantly filled with anxiety, panic, and unease. No matter what we did it just didn't feel right and this company didn't feel right to us. Finally it dawned on us that that was our answer, the way we felt was our answer... it wasn't right. It seemed crazy to turn down a job opportunity when we don't have another one in front of us but we have to do what is right for our family.
Our decision has only been further confirmed by the way we have felt since then. We let them know that we were done and we have only felt relief and no regrets and have been glad to close that door and move on. Our parents have also felt the same way so we know we are on the right track. Since it is almost March now we have decided to stay put for now (with the help of our tax return!). We don't want Preston to change schools this late in the school year since he is loving school so much and would hate to mess with that. Steve has been applying like crazy here, in Utah and in Arizona so we are hopeful that something will come together soon. If we still have nothing by the end of the school year then we will probably move forward with moving in with my parents in AZ. Through it all we have faith that something will work out soon. We know there is a job out there that will be the right fit for Steve and our family. It's still stressful to not have a job and not know what the future holds, but we are hopeful that everything will come together soon.
The past few months with all of that and the roller coaster of emotions was crazy and we're not sure why we were supposed to go through all of that. I bore my testimony in church last Sunday (we have a regional broadcast this Sunday so we had fast Sunday one week early). I felt really strongly that I needed to share what I had been feeling lately. We pray during times of trial and of course would love for the trials to be immediately solved and go away but that's not how it works, instead we are blessed in other ways. I have been blessed with an incredible increase of gratitude. It feels funny to be so grateful for so much during a very stressful, difficult time but I know that it is through the spirit that I am able to feel so much peace and gratitude. I feel very blessed and have so much joy. The source of my joy is my little family. I am reminded daily how precious they are and how lucky I am to have them. I wish I could bottle my kids up right now... life is only going to keep going, they'll get bigger, be at school all day, and become less interested in being home with their family. I just want to keep them little and close forever. I am so blessed to be their mother and for their health and their amazing spirits and personalities. I am so grateful for the blessings of the temple and that we can be together forever. I'm so grateful for my faith, my testimony, for the the church and the gospel that is so easily accessible and such a big part of my life. I would love if money/jobs could just be smooth sailing for us, but it's not and in the mean time I am so grateful to be reminded of what's truly important and to be able to grow and be strengthened through it all.
I'm not sure what the next few months have in store for us... we'll just have to try to be patient and have faith!
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