Tired...

That's how we're all feeling about our current situation around here.  We've been going through this trial of unemployment for over a year but it feels like forever.  After our disappointment of not getting the job for Idaho Central Credit Union, a couple weeks later Steve got a call for a Director of Marketing job for a company he had submitted for a long time ago and we had given up on.  It took us by surprise and they wanted to interview him quickly and then he had a second interview very quickly after that.  The interviews went well, he felt good about them, and he had an in from a friend in our ward.  We were feeling very good about things and we were getting excited!!  Next came the waiting which is the worst part.  As time went on our optimism started to dwindle and after two weeks and Steve emailed twice we heard back that they didn't think he was right for the job.  ...sigh...  He did hear from one of the guys he interviewed for that they were trying to see if Steve could work for a different position, more of a marketing analyst type job that Steve isn't super sure about.  We haven't heard more about that yet, and although it's a job (which we would be willing to take anything at this point), it definitely doesn't feel like the job we've been hoping and praying for, pay-wise (we're assuming) or something that Steve would love and excel at.  Who knows, maybe it could turn out to be way better than we are thinking, but we couldn't help but feel discouraged and disappointed.

And that's why we feel tired.  Just tired of getting our hopes up, just to have the answer be no every time.  Tired of the waiting.  And waiting and waiting.  Tired of telling people about these opportunities and then having to tell them it didn't work out.  Tired of spending days/weeks/months waiting for a phone call that just hasn't happened.  Tired of pep talks from very well meaning people.  Tired of constantly worrying about money and debts that feel like they might never be paid off.  Tired of praying for the same thing for over a year.  Tired of the stress, the uncertainty, and the anxiety.  Tired of life sometimes and would much rather run away to a fabulous vacation!

Now don't get me wrong, I am not having a crisis of faith or anything.  I think it's possible to have a lot of faith and have a strong testimony and still have bad days and still get frustrated.  I know that our Heavenly Father is watching over us and helping us in ways that I'm sure we're not even aware of.  There is a plan for us.  We really don't know what that us and I am worried that His plan for us is vastly different than what we have in mind.  We just want to be able to take care of our own family and serve the Lord (we don't feel like that is asking too much!).  We know that life is full of trials and we know that in the midst of this trial we are very, very blessed, but we are just ready to close this chapter and start the next!  We will continue to do our part and we are just hoping (and hoping and hoping) that things might come together really soon.