I have a lot of posting to do: Christmas, our trip to AZ, and the start of 2016 (which hasn't been great so far with illness and a trip to the ER), but I find I actually need to go back a little bit first because we got a big surprise in November. That's right, we are EXPECTING! We were shocked by this news! All three of our kiddos had to be specifically tried for, some a little longer than others, no unexpected pregnancies in this family, so we were pretty shocked when we found ourselves pregnant without even trying for it. A huge blessing to be sure. I had planned in my mind to take a pregnancy test on a certain day but the morning of November 6th I had the most anxious feeling and decided to go for it and take the test. In my mind I was doing it just to confirm that I wasn't pregnant so I wouldn't be questioning it anymore and to my surprise it was positive. I showed Steve and he too was shocked and we couldn't believe that we were going to have 4 kids (yikes!).
I had already planned on going to the temple that day so I decided to still go even though my mind was racing a mile a minute. I might of been a little distracted but I had such a huge feeling of gratitude and felt so truly blessed. I also prayed that this baby might make it here ok, since my fears and anxieties of a miscarriage or other complications has only risen with each pregnancy. I felt like this baby was meant for our family and would be ok, so comforting.
I feel like I need to give a little background for the pregnancy. Even though the timing was definitely a surprise, adding to our family wasn't. When we got married we had decided that 3 kids sounded like a great number and we had always felt that way. When we had Kaley I had the option to get my tubes tied and although I was 95% sure we were done having kids I couldn't say for certain that we were. About a month after Kaley was born while I was taking a little nap with her I had the profound feeling that there was someone missing from our family, a feeling that totally caught me off guard. I was nervous to tell Steve about this prompting until he told me he had the same thing happen to him! After both Preston and Abby were born, getting pregnant again wasn't on my radar at all and something I didn't think about at all for a very long time. After that prompting it was something I thought about very often and something we talked about regularly, even with the kids. It was the weirdest thing to be baby hungry when Kaley was just 6 months old, 9 months old or just turning a year old. We knew that since the feeling was so strong and always on my mind that this baby wasn't 5 years down the road but probably much sooner. With our very uncertain circumstances and high stress levels, we were not ready to try to get pregnant and instead left it in the Lord's hands, thinking that we would really try in another 6 months or a year.
This has been such a testimony builder of the Lord's timing. Our circumstances are definitely not ideal for growing our family and I'm sure others might think we're not being smart by doing so, but I also know that our Heavenly Father is in charge of things like this and it is all a part of His timing and His purpose. Although parts of our lives are still very challenging and uncertain (like needing a JOB!), we feel so very blessed.
Only a few days after we found out the news the pregnancy symptoms kicked in, the hunger, food aversions, exhaustion, and just feeling crummy all day. I definitely felt worse than my other pregnancies but thankfully I am not the kind that throws up all day or anything. We definitely like to keep news like this to ourselves until I have seen a doctor to confirm everything is ok and get passed the window where a miscarriage might take place, so we waited anxiously for my doctor's appointment on Dec. 8th with plans to probably tell family and friends over the holidays. Dec. 8th came... and that will be the next post!
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