Hard to believe 2016 has come and gone. In so many ways it was very long and yet I can't believe it's over. Of course this leads to a lot of reflection before looking forward. I specifically remember at the end of last year saying something to Steve like, "So pretty much the whole year is going to be really HARD!!" The thought of a twin pregnancy with the physical, mental, emotional toll along with the uncertainty of what would happen with our babies and if all would be ok. Then the thought of having TWO newborns. Then having to take care of two babies along with our other three without help. Add in the uncertainty of when or where Steve might get a new job and the stresses of unemployment. The thought of all of that was so scary. I couldn't wrap my mind around how we would get through the year all in one piece.
I had forgotten that I had said/thought that until about a month ago when it popped into my mind out of the blue. I was left feeling pleasantly surprised. Not only had we survived the year but we have been so blessed and were able to enjoy it and come out so much better for it. Twin pregnancy was one of the hardest things for me physically. Newborn twins was a blur of exhaustion and stress. Unemployment is filled with uncertainty, stress and anxiety. Adjusting to life with 5 kids has been a challenge and brought along with it some post partum depression/anxiety. So has it been easy? Certainly not. But more than anything I am filled with gratitude for 2016. Throughout it all we have been shown incredible love, support, generosity of others. We have grown closer and stronger in our marriage and in our own little (I guess I should say big!) family. We have had circumstances work out for us to really help us with things like medical expenses, formula, and diapers (we have yet to buy any diapers for the twins because of the generosity of others and we haven't had to pay for formula, a $300 a month expense, thanks to WIC). Steve was able to get a job seemingly out of the blue that allows us to stay here for the time being and he is able to get back into the workforce. Besides colds and a stomach bug we have all been very healthy. I made it through my twin pregnancy with zero complications which as I learned and have heard so many others' stories, is a big deal. Most importantly we have been able to see the hand of our Heavenly Father in our lives and His timing.
I honestly don't know what to expect from 2017. I am fine with a quiet year of just progress and growth. Steve to feel confident and successful with his job. All of the kids to be healthy and to grow and learn. For me I have never been really good at resolutions. I have some areas that I would like to focus more on: scripture reading and prayers, my relationship with my Savior. Things to make me a better wife and mother. The only measurable goals that I have for myself is that I want to run another 10k and half marathon. I have already signed up for the 10k which is at the end of April and the half will be at the end of July, which I will sign up for soon. I also think it would be cool to run at least 365 miles this year. I haven't quite figured out when I will do all this running but I need to work on getting my body back in shape and I think it will help my stress levels too.
Here's to a new year and all that comes with it... hopefully good things!
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