Life's building blocks...

Steve recently heard a quote that said life's trials are not road blocks but building blocks... well, we've hit a huge building block.

In August, Steve lost his job.  Completely out of the blue and it totally shocked us.  He was the first real marketing person they had at this small company and had him get some marketing things started and then they decided they didn't need him anymore.  Awesome, thanks.  Steve didn't love the company and didn't always see eye to eye with the executive team (his 3 bosses) and we knew he wasn't there for the long haul but we never expected this.  It was a Friday, the day after my parents left and Kaley was just 3 weeks old, Steve met the kids and I at a park for lunch and we were talking about his frustrations at work and said how we didn't quite feel 100% stable with this company for the long term.  The rest of the afternoon I just felt sick to my stomach and then when he came home at like 3:45 I knew something was wrong and he told me he lost his job.  This was definitely followed by a lot of tears over the next couple of days as well as some anger and bitterness because we felt kind of betrayed by the executive team.  It just hurt, especially Steve.  Not to mention we have a family, including a newborn and hospital bills, to take care of... scary and overwhelming.

Since then Steve has worked really hard to apply for jobs all over... we will go where there is a job and where we are supposed to go.  He's had a few interviews but so far no luck.  He is starting work at a call center doing surveys to make at least a little bit while we wait for him to have a second interview here in Idaho Falls.  We are so incredibly blessed to have amazing families who have helped us financially.  Not sure where we would be or what we would be doing without them.  We have kind of kept this quiet mostly because we didn't want to worry or burden anyone.  But now more and more people know about our situation and we're hoping that just means more opportunity and prayers coming our wayt.

This has been an incredibly trying time for both of us.  We have faced unemployment and under-employment before (unfortunately) but this time seems harder, maybe it's having 3 kids now or the fussy newborn, not sure why.  We've had to do a lot of waiting, like waiting to hear back for possible job leads or interviews, and waiting is not fun.  There is so much uncertainty, fear, frustration, and anxiety in this situation that it is hard not to let that just overwhelm me.  The stress levels are definitely high around here and I feel like it only takes one thing to go awry in a day and I start to crumble.  I'm trying though and with a lot of prayer and going to the temple, I'm getting through this.  Yes, it's easy to only think of the negative during this time but I'm working hard to try to remember the good in this, our blessings and the lessons to be learned.  A few of them being...

-The amazing people in our lives who show so much love and support.  Family, extended family, friends, visiting teachers, and people in the ward have been so sweet and have offered many prayers on our behalf and put our names in the temple numerous times.  It's really touching and we feel very loved.
- Having personal prayer and living so close to a temple.  We are able to get the peace and reassurance that we're needing and that helps us move forward.
-With struggling with Kaley, it has really saved my sanity to have Steve around so much.  He's so great with the kids and he's able to take Preston to school and pick him up, run errands for me, and just take turns with the kids.  I really think I would've really struggled with all three by myself and Kaley's crying.  Plus I love that he gets to be such a big part of their lives when they are young.
-Having each other.  So grateful we have each other to rely on, that we can take turns feeling up and down about things and be there for each other.
-Recognizing our other blessings.  We know there are trials out there that are FAR worse than anything we have to deal with.  We have so many amazing blessings: our warm home, food to eat, our health, families, wonderful neighbors, 3 amazing kids, schools our kids love, and so much laughter and happiness in our home.
-Grateful for my faith and the gospel.  We have faced challenges before and we have always gotten through them with the help of my Heavenly Father.  He has always watched over us and helped us and blessed us... not always in the ways we expect or want but in the ways that are right for us at that time.  I have complete faith that we'll make it through this challenge and come out better for it.  I know that my faith will only be strengthened and this will be a time of a lot of learning and growth (even if it's not always fun).  I try to remember the perspective that we are here in the this life to face trials and struggles and that if things always went smoothly and how we expect we would never learn some of the most valuable lessons and our faith wouldn't be strengthened in the same way.  I just try to remember that!!

There are still a lot of question marks in our life: where Steve will find a job, possibly moving, trying to survive financially in the meantime.  We're hoping that these questions will be answered sooner rather than later but we will just have faith in the meantime and focus on what's most important in my life right now, my three beautiful children.