A little reflection...

I feel like I've had a lot on my mind this week, so here's just some of it... My emotions have been all over the place this week, not so fun. I've been trying to figure out why but I think it's several things. One of which may be the fact that next week it will be one year since we've moved here, so I've been reflecting on that a lot and feeling a little homesick for AZ and our life in Tucson (don't worry, there'll be a post about our moving anniversary). Another being the onset of cold weather. There's no snow yet and it's sunny (thank goodness) but it's still too cold to be outside and is just an indication of the looming, long winter.

I think the other thing that has got me so emotional lately is my job as a mom. I love my job as a full time mom and feel so incredibly blessed to have my children. Having said that, it doesn't always mean my job is an easy one. Preston will be 3 in one month, and we are kind of struggling with him at this age. I know I've said it before but he's our VERY active, energetic, stubborn and sometimes argumentative little boy. He's on the go from the second he wakes up until he goes to bed. I feel like I spend my days trying to catch up with him and constantly go and do things just so he can get some of energy out and stay out of trouble. He definitely would never be considered a calm or mellow child. I've even gone so far as to research ADHD to see if he falls into that category (they don't diagnose that until at least 5 or 6, lol). Once again, I love my boy and he still has amazing qualities that I think are so great, like his bravery, outgoing personality, silliness, language skills, love for Abby and no shyness whatsoever.

I feel like with Preston I am having a daily struggle to be the mom he needs me to be and struggling to know what is best for him. It can be overwhelming and I get worn out sometimes! I think it's kind of funny that I've cared for other people's kids for years, even 15 two year olds at once, and yet this sometimes feels more challenging (not to say I never got frustrated at any of my jobs). I think it's because at the end of the day it is my (and my husband of course) responsibility to raise this child and make him the best little person and future young man and adult that I can. That's a lot pressure!! Anyways, I think this pressure has been weighing on me this week and gotten me a little down.

I had a better day today and took Preston to play at a big indoor play place, called Leo's Place. He's always happiest playing with other kids and letting him just play for as long as he wants. Then as I was getting him ready for bed and told him he could only pick one book because it was getting late and he picked "Corduroy." I was reading it to him and out of the blue it hit me that that I was reading a bedtime story to my little boy. This was something I had dreamed about and prayed for since I was a little girl, to be married in the temple and be a mom. I am doing that! I really am so blessed to be in this position and I just need to let all of the other frustration or pressure go and focus on that. I need to remember that all that matters is the love I show to him and to be there for him one hundred percent. ...Oh and Abby too! I haven't forgotten about her!