Simplifying...

I had a really rough day a couple weeks ago... It was the day that Steve was working at the kids' fair and I had just about a million things to do before I had to pick up Steve across town at 6pm and head down to Pocatello for the monster trucks that night.  Sometimes I enjoy the days where I have a super long to do list while other days it just stresses me out.  While I have a mile long list of things to do (and re-do, like my birthday cake that I made for Abby that day that bombed so I had to make cupcakes at the last minute), I still have to take care of 2 kiddos at the same time.  Sometimes I get so frustrated at how much longer even simple tasks can take when also taking care of kids.  I have days (like this one) where I feel like I am working on or doing stuff all day long  and just going and going and yet at the end of the day not much on my list had been accomplished.

On this particular day I had so much stuff to do and so I put on shows and movies for Preston most of the day to keep him occupied and out of my hair.  Of course, this only works for so long before he's bored and looking for my attention which I couldn't give him at the moment.  He started acting up and not listening (the normal 3 year old stuff) and I got frustrated and angry.  I wanted to yell at him "Don't you understand that I have stuff to get done!?!"  I didn't, but I did send him to a long time out to let him and me both cool down.  After that I still had things to get done of course but I spent the rest of the day (and probably the next couple of days) feeling guilty.  Of course he doesn't always understand when I have other things that demand my attention, he's 3!  I felt guilty for getting angry with him when I knew the reason why he was acting out was because he was needing my attention.  It's not his fault I was preoccupied with so many different things besides him.  I cried to Steve about it later on because I felt like I had ignored my children all day, a horrible feeling and pretty much the opposite of what my job as a mom is.  

My point in all of this is that my children need more of my focused attention, but let me clarify something... I definitely feel it's important for children to learn that they can't always have 100% of your attention.  There are things that do need to get done to keep a house and family running and kids need to learn and share in those tasks (ie. laundry, grocery shopping etc.).  The family that I used to nanny for had 2 nannies, a cleaning lady, landscapers, and a pool guy.  All of the laundry, shopping, light cleaning, and cooking were done by the full time nanny (I was part time and responsible for the after school activities), and the boys I looked after (ages 5 and 8) never had to help in any of those jobs.  I've realized after the fact that they were missing out on valuable learning opportunities.  Clean clothes and food on the table don't just appear and kids can take part in helping and sharing those experiences.  They also need to learn patience that they might not get your attention or something they need the moment they demand it.  I can't always get Preston a snack the moment he asks for it (even if he asks nicely) because I might be changing Abby's diaper or something like that.  I think that's an important lesson.

However, I think it's all too easy for all of the "stuff" or "things to do" to take priority over what's really important.  Yes, I have a to-do list everyday but does everything on that list need to get done immediately?  No, it doesn't.  I'm really working on this, trying to keep my priorities straight and really trying to differentiate between the things that need to get done and the things that I want to get done.  I'm trying harder to let the things that can wait (like that load of laundry that needs to get done or the few errands I want to run) just wait, if it means I am spending more time focusing on my kids.  And even though after the kids go to bed or during the occasional nap time I just want to relax and work on some of my projects, I'm trying harder to utilize that time more to get some things that need to get done, done.  My day seems to go better if I folded that last load of laundry or loaded the dishes the night before.  I'm also finding that the days where I make the extra effort to focus my attention on my kids, that Preston's behavior is better (not everyday, but that's to be expected) and I feel better at the end of the day knowing I was giving him that attention and trying the best I could.  A few days after my bad day I found this quote on pinterest...

 I LOVE, LOVE this quote and feel it matches exactly what I've been thinking about lately and is so true.  I might not make organic, whole wheat bread from my food storage and then cut it into fun shapes or have a new recipe every night for dinner or any of the kind of crazy things on pinterest, but if I'm focusing on my family and my children and really trying hard to be a good mom, than that's what's really important.